Dear Future Wife, the Difficult Truths You Should Know about Your Future Husband

Dear Future Wife:
Here are the difficult truths you should know about your future husband

This letter is written with the hope that my future wife will read it. With this I also want to make my readers sure that I don’t intend to become the next apostle Paul. I.e. I am not a celibate. I really want to have a family in the future. I also want to make it plain that I don’t really know yet who that woman will be. In this letter I have tried to introduce myself to my future wife with the hope that she will read this piece someday. (Notice: I have written this letter with a high level of honesty, you will find some new things as usual)

Feb 2019

Dear future wife, I’m deeply sorry that I started my letter of salutation by admitting that I don’t know you yet. Don’t worry. This letter isn’t about you. It’s about me. I want you to understand some difficult things about me so that you won’t find them offending or strange in the future.

So many times I had thought that I met you, it turned out to be wrong. The search is still on going hoping I will meet you someday soon. I don’t have many criterion to evaluate you. If you understand the person whose difficult stories are stated below, then I believe you are the person I was/am/will be waiting for.

First thing First - God

Future wife, the first thing that I want you to know about me is that I wouldn’t have written this letter if it wasn’t for God. As much as I remember I am the worst of all sinners. I grew up as the quiet but most dangerous guy in the house. No one talked about me but evil had already built its house in my heart since my childhood. The turning point in my life came as result of my older brother Miju who told me that God can give me hope and forgiveness for my sins. Finally, some 12 years ago I put my trust in Jesus Christ who dies for my sins. Since then I cannot imagine myself living apart from God. I’m a committed die hard fan of Jesus, are you?

Born to Poor Family

Just like most people in Ethiopia I was born to a family with a middle to poor income. We lived in a very fragile economic state for most of our days. I couldn't deny how God have been helping us through difficult times. Future wife, if past stories influence future characters and endeavors, you have to understand your future husband that he grew up in a poor family just like most people. However, your future husband believes in hard work, Never on earth he would give a moment to giving up when it comes to poverty and limitations. Are you?

Born to Oromo Nationalists

I grew up in a very nationalistic house. Both my Dad (Befkadu Kebede Merera) and my mom (Tadelech Gezahegn Roro) were/are from Oromia region. Even though I was born in Finfinee / Addis Ababa, I was taught everything about my national identity in the house since I was very child. My father used to be a member and advocate of the Oromo Libration Front. Had he been alive, he would have been joyful to see the return of OLF back to the country. (I have written an article about my dad’s political journey if you want to know more). What I want you to know is that although I am not a nationalist extremist, I really love my ethnic background and I am proud of being an Oromo. The fact that I didn’t choose to be an Oromo doesn’t mean that I shouldn’t be proud of it. And the fact that I am proud of my ethnic identity doesn’t mean I am a racist. Hear me again, I am a proud Oromo. Contrary to what you learn from the media these days, the Oromo people are a very welcoming and peace loving people.  Future wife, I want you to know that both Christianity and the Oromo culture have taught me to accept people regardless of their national identity. I will love you no matter what your ethnic background is, will you?

An Ethnic Federalist

With regard to the ethnic federalism vs Unitarianism debate, I am a serious advocate for ethnic federalism. I have found the reasons that back up ethnic federalism as a model for this country are stronger than that of for unitarianism or the ‘citizenship’ model. In fact ethnic federalism, with all its pitfalls, plays a great role in preventing cultural assimilation and extinction of languages and indigenous traditions. I have friends from every corner of the country, I always try to learn their cultures, they are very proud of themselves thanks to the ethnic federalism. Even the Bible is nearer to this model. Rev 7:9 says, “After this I looked and there before me was a great multitude that no one could count, from every nation, tribe, people and language, standing before the throne and in front of the lamb.” DO YOU SEE? How can every nation, tribe, people and language be represented in heaven if we adopt a unitarian model which paves the way for cultural assimilation? And that is why I support ethnic federalism. Don’t you?

A Confused Learner of the intersection between Faith, Culture and Politics

I have always been curious to learn the intersection between faith, culture and politics. I have tried the red lines, the intersections and the segregation points. I admit I am far from those points. I'm questing to understand the human mind dealing with the three fundamental obsession of humanity: faith, culture and politics. When I incline to faith, some call me a narrow minded. When I incline to culture, some call me a racist. When I incline to politics, some will call me a deceiver. Your future husband is a thinker who spends hours to connect all the wires necessary for humanity to exist peacefully in this world, are you?

A Missionary to be

I have long had a passion for the glory of God. I want to see God being glorified in all the remaining unreached languages of the world.  I want Jesus to get in to every culture. That’s why on September 2014 (meskerem 2007 E.C), I decided to become a missionary after I finish my medical school. I’m still waiting for that day. I want to become a missionary. Becoming a missionary will leave me no choice other than leaving my house, my race and country. I will represent no people other than the people of God, no race other than the heavenly one, no government other than the kingdom of God. One day I will carry only one name, Jesus, and cross cultures and oceans for his glory. Will you join your future husband in this adventure?

A Theology Addict and a Doubter

Future partner, in order to equip me for my future ministry, I have studied theology. I also love philosophy and anthropology. They are really helpful. They have also made me look critically on things. I question many things in the world. To your surprise, I also question some things in the Bible. Contrary to what I had thought earlier, I also get some answers outside the Bible. It seems crazy, right? At least this isn’t how we’re told at church. I want you to know that, with all the love I have for God and His word, I also have some doubts and I have to fight daily for my faith. In this difficult and sometimes painful journey, God has been with me. Will you be with me too?

A Medical Doctor to be

The only reasoning I am progressing in my medical school is my firm belief that one day I will be a medical missionary. I never dreamed to be a doctor. I never wanted to become a medical doctor. I wanted to become a student of physics or an engineer. For the first few years it was a very difficult journey for me to stay as a medical student. That was one of the reasons why I withdrew from medial school on 2015 but returned back on 2017 after I had a very good 2 years of searching for meaning and purpose. I finally became convinced that God will be glorified most if I endure at medical school than leave it prematurely. Dear future wife, by God’s grace, your future husband is most likely to be a medical doctor, are you?   

Dear future wife, these are some of the difficult things you need to know about me. Let’s be honest, which sane millennial girl would want to marry a God-first, ethnic federalist, a missionary to be, a doubter, and one who was born to an Oromo nationalist family? Only You, the future you!

In His Grace,

Your future husband,