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I want to live, a journey to and through nhilism

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By Rahel Tariku Three years ago if you had asked me, what I was living for, I had a clear cut answer. Something I was passionate about, that kept me going every single morning and made me hope for a better day. If you asked me , what if your reason to live no longer became enough or true, I would have said I'd simply wish to die. Because what is the point of living for nothing when eventually nothing matters? Why face life when your existence or inexistence is pointless? Yes, your closed ones will be sad but one day they will die too and everything about your life will be forgotten. It’s all directionless wandering that strips you from all power and fuel you had for life. I know, it's nihilist of me but it’s true. In the words of Friedrich Nietzsche, the German scholastic period precursor to existentialism, “…Nihilism appears at that point, not that the displeasure of existence has become greater than before but because one has come to mistrust any ‘meaning’ in suffering, indee

Few Notes on my 26th Birthday

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  I just celebrated my 26th birthday, and I wanted to pen some lines about something as I usually do on my birthdays for the last many years. But I had nothing to write about this time. I remember writing a long letter to God on my 19th birthday. That letter was filled with hopes and prayer for the days and years to follow. It took me a day and half to figure out my feelings and jot them down with few lines this time. The enthusiasm and curiosity I had at the age of 19 might not be there this time around. However, I still have few things to say about this life. It has been a rough journey. If I narrate all the paths I have been through, you might even doubt my age. Trust me, I am 26. True story, while I was a fulltime minister at church, some of my friends accused me of lying my age. The allegation came seriously. In fact one of my friends asked me to step down from my ministerial position because I have been lying about my age. I was accepted as a fulltime minister in the chur

23 and Doubter:

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By Rahel Tariku   I am 23. I’m a full grown adult now when I was younger I thought I’d have a total comprehension of how I would like to live my life. At least settle down with one world view by 23. If not passionately pursue something that is worth the fight. At this age I should know what I am doing here, where am going… if there is something I should live for or if I’m just here, just existing and someday going to   disappear to nothing. Are purpose, value and meaning notions we painted to endure the reality of being here and then vanishing to nil? Or is the concept of nothing constructed when we failed to hold on to faith and live up to its expectations (standards)? This I have been contemplating for what seems like eternity and it never stops. Basically am saying am having an existential crisis. Amidst all of this scrutiny, I was lost. I began to learn new persuasion every day. To be completely convinced and then to commute the next day because something seemingly better has c

The Heart, Heartbeat and Love

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Okay . Yeah. I am a medical studen t fortunate or unfortunate (take a time and say it whichever you want). I like medicine. I really do. I think. One of the easy question in medical school goes like this, “How many time does the normal human heart beat per minute?” It’s a very easy and an elementary one. Try this if you’ve not come across this area of study. 100? 200? 60? Or 30? (Don’t do the count now. Just guess!) I just asked my mom this question and her answer was “150”. I know how the med student feels hearing this (Maybe my mom was a kind of hype most of the time). Another good friend of mine said “40”. This tells me we don’t even give attention to the most vital organ in our body. Normally the human heartbeat is between 60 to 100 per minute. Any deviation from this range would be considered as abnormal. Heartbeat can go up and down depending on so many factors such as drugs, diseases, emotions and etc. There are drugs that depress the heartbeat count and

Jesus Couldn't

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I wonder how many of us have ever asked “Are there things God can’t do?” I mean if you are well interested in theology and divinity I hope you have faced such questions. This question came to bother me some years back and I still ask “Are there things God can’t do?” Classical theology at best defines God’s omnipotence as God’s attribute of doing everything in the logical and moral realm. Hence, God cannot do an illogical and non-moral thing. For instance, God cannot sin. (non-moral) God cannot lie. (non-moral) God cannot commit suicide. (Illogical) God cannot kill God. (Illogical) These are some of the things God cannot do. Why do I want to talk about this today? I have come across a new “Can’t, “and “Couldn’t” about God and humanity. Listen up friends, this is something serious. The Gethsemane Dilemma As much as I am thrilled and emotional to read the Gethsemane story of Christ, I also love to read it. There I see a Messiah who couldn’t. I see a messiah who wouldn

Love and the Chain of Brokenness

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Rachel Joy Scott was a student at Columbine High School, Colorado, U.S. Rachel was one of the victims of the 1999 Columbine High Schools shooting. She was one of the 13 students who lost their lives in the incident. Rachel was known as a loving person in her high school. She was loved by most people in the school compound. She even befriended the gangsters only to tell them they are still loved. She invited them to a weekly Bible study. Many students were affected by her mere friendship. Sadly, the shooters who were once her classmates took her life. After Rachel’s death, her family started “Love Chain” that is still influencing many people. In their “Love Chain” they teach and create a chain of love among high school students. Love can be propagated and Rachel’s life has been a witness even after her death. Love can be channeled through befriending the stigmatized and isolated individuals. It works by the way. I have seen this in the life of Fenan Befkadu, my very own

The Failed Me and the Broken Jesus

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The Failed Me and the Broken Jesus Last month (Hamle) did not bring good news to Ethiopia in particular and as always to the world in general. Related to the Sidama referendum issue, by now over 54 people have died, most of them young. Just prior to the 11/11/11 incident, in my culture study session, I spent a week studying the history, culture and influence of the Sidama people. It broke me to learn the news of the uprising and the death toll. This is just one of the news. In other news last Saturday in U.S a gunman killed 26 people. This time the killer was a 21 years old young man. As I write this there is this news circulating in Ethiopia which reads: Two Federal Police died in an incident that involved a minor conflict in the Capital. Such news breaks my heart and forces me to look deep into the world. I am led to ask what happened to us, humans. What have we become? Doesn’t such news break your heart too? In light of the darkness surrounding us, I try to im