The Heart, Heartbeat and Love

Okay. Yeah. I am a medical student fortunate or unfortunate (take a time and say it whichever you want). I like medicine. I really do. I think.

One of the easy question in medical school goes like this, “How many time does the normal human heart beat per minute?” It’s a very easy and an elementary one. Try this if you’ve not come across this area of study. 100? 200? 60? Or 30? (Don’t do the count now. Just guess!)

I just asked my mom this question and her answer was “150”. I know how the med student feels hearing this (Maybe my mom was a kind of hype most of the time). Another good friend of mine said “40”. This tells me we don’t even give attention to the most vital organ in our body.

Normally the human heartbeat is between 60 to 100 per minute. Any deviation from this range would be considered as abnormal. Heartbeat can go up and down depending on so many factors such as drugs, diseases, emotions and etc. There are drugs that depress the heartbeat count and there are drugs and emotions that skyrocket it. Leaving aside the drugs to the physicians, in this short piece I want to say something about the link between our emotional state and the heartbeat count.

The Heart – A Physio-Psycho Organ

It’s interesting to know that the heart as a most vital physiologic organ in the body is also the most quoted and mentioned organ of the body. Physiologically the heart receives and pumps blood. That’s it. In the area of psychology, however, the heart is everything. It is the mastermind of morality, the ideological center of intellectualism, the wellspring of life and the source and destiny of human emotions.

I mean really who didn’t speak about the heart (even sometimes without knowing where it is exactly found in our body). Philosophers from ancient to medieval to modern wrote extensively about it (Here I am tempted to refer the heart as “she”. I just don’t know why.) Religious leaders such as Confucius, Buddha, Mohammed or Jesus all spoke about it. Musicians and singers wrote lyrics about it.

Although for the medical doctor, the cardiologist, or the cardiothoracic surgeon, the heart is a muscular organ a size of a fist of hand that continuously pumps blood to the rest of the body, for the layman for the music composer for the philosopher and the parable men and women the heart is more than that.

Even today there are more songs about the heart in many Ethiopian languages (Amharic, Afan Oromoo, Tigrigna etc) than about any other body part. In the meantime, we sing not only about the heart but also about the heartbeat, and mostly, yeah, in connection with love.

Heartbeat and Love

One of the most celebrated movies of all time made in Amharic language is “Ye Wondoch Guday” (“Men’s Issue”?). It’s a movie with comedy genre, a very funny one. It’s about a team founded at a local carpentry by five men and a woman. The team tries to help one of the co-worker (hence, the main character of the movie) “Aymero” who was ditched by his girlfriend for U.S. Then the movie narrates how the team members try to heal their broken friend.

At some point in the movie the team members ask Aymero,

“What is your criteria to have a girlfriend?”

Aymro answers, “My heart should tear apart when I see her.”

The members continue, “Are you going to stay single forever until your heart is torn apart?”

The funny scene continues. It is quite interesting to notice the emotional relationship between the human heart and love. Many people do find this real and interesting in fact.

Scientists describe what Aymro says his 'heart being torn apart' as joint effect of sympathetic and dopaminergic innervation at the heart and on the brain respectively. When the sympathetic innervation is activated the heartbeat rises. When the dopaminergic or vasopressin effect skyrockets, the brain gets its pleasure. Hence the effect of the two (the dopaminergic and the sympathetic effect) gives what Aymro described (and many of us describe) as “my heart torn apart.”

Do you want me to get honest? Okay. The first time I felt this “my heart torn apart” thing was back when I was a grade seven student. (Didn’t I say don’t judge in the beginning? Okay stop judging!) Guess what there was this girl in our class who was so smart and beautiful and Muslim at the same time. What a combination!

Whenever I saw her there was this weird feeling. My heart rate jumps up. My breath shortens, fastens and at times breaks. My vessels constrict. Good Lord. I was an introvert and Christian at the same time. What a weird combination! No chance I would talk to her let alone tell her my weird feeling about her. I remember one time she came to talk to me (I don’t remember the reason). Immediately the heart rate jumped up. I couldn’t control my breath. This was the “Aymro” moment. Well, I didn’t have “Ye Wondoch Guday” team to help me out.

Perhaps this too is your story. Sometime in the past you’ve had the “Aymro” moment. Though weird, it’s beautiful; when the brain and the ‘heart’ work together to give us pleasure and adventure at the same time. You feel you want and don’t want to meet that person at the same time. You feel you want to see and not see the person at the same time. You want to run and you want to hold that person at the same time. You want to flee and you want to kiss that person at the same time. You want to climb at a nearby fence and you want to hug that person at the same time. You enjoy the pleasure and the adventure all at once. How beautiful!

Still I know some of you might not had this feeling in the past are wondering what it feels like. Well, wait for it. Perhaps. It will come.

The Heart’s Hurt Beat

In the light of contemporary scientific and psychological studies one still can ask what makes the heartbeat to increase on such occasions. I mean beside the sympathetic and dopaminergic effects, what psychological reasons and explanations exist for this feeling? What adventure is the brain perceiving that made the heart to beat this much too fast?

Nowadays most psychologists argue that behind such atmosphere there exists at least three psychological and emotional reasons to feel “the heart being torn apart.” These are 1) personal low self-esteem 2) fear of rejection 3) fear of societal comments. I cannot deal with all the three in this short piece so I will leave them here.

But those three reasons tell us why our heartbeat rises in response to such environment. Perhaps the grade seven Naol lacked self-esteem (Well, I doubt if he has one this time too) or was in fear of rejection or was in fear of what other students might say at that very moment. Lack of self-esteem, fear of rejection and fear of societal comments can explain the psychological reasons for the rise in the heartbeat.

Let’s not forget behind every heartbeat of love there is unwavering expectation to be loved and cherished. Behind every rise in the heartbeat there is a signal of fear of rejection and societal comments. Hence, the heart beats not only love, it also beats hurt.

While our heart jumps in connection to a perceived beauty, it is also jumping in connection to a perceived pain, rejection and lack of self-esteem.

The Strongest Heartbeat

I love medicine. I really do. I think. It helped me get familiar with the heart, and the hurt at times.

Some five months back one Sunday afternoon after church service, we came to Black Lion Hospital to see the 17 years old Kaleb Alemayehu who was also a member of our church. Kaleb suffered from Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia (ALL) and was on chemotherapy. Kaleb played with us. He was on his second chemotherapy. He laughed and we enjoyed.

Two months back, the news came that Kaleb had died. I remember hearing the news at lunch time. I was broken. I couldn’t forget his smiling face.

And yesterday another news came Abel Girma a very friend of mine with whom I served in a high school fellowship together died to a lung disease after suffering for some 20 days. Abel was 25 years old. I couldn’t believe the news. It broke me so bad.

Death is real. We lose people. Ten years ago I lost my dad. In the reality of death and loss of beloved friends and a father, I see another strong rise in heartbeat. Perhaps the strongest one. The soul of dead men is transported to heaven. There they face the crucified and risen Jesus, according to the Bible.

I wonder if there will ever be a moment as exhilarating and as scary as this one. Looking at the face of the one who was crucified and risen is, I believe, the most adventure of all. There I believe exists the ever strong heartbeat rise if souls have a heart there.

There I want to see and not see Jesus at the same time. There I want to meet and not meet him at the same time. There I want to return back and I want stay in front of him at the same time. There the greatest ever pleasure and adventure meet!

The two handsome young members of our church perhaps have faced this face. How adventurous that is!

I love Jesus. I really do. I think. I always imagine how he looks like. Moreover, I imagine how he looks like when he looks at me. The lowest self-esteem and the greatest fear of rejection all combine to kneel me down before his face. Do I have the courage to face Jesus? My heartbeat rises up. At this very moment the beautiful adventure may turn into a painful and regretful weeping at the feet of Jesus. In heaven.

But I don’t want to miss the beautiful adventure. I don’t want it to turn into a painful and regretful weeping. I love Jesus. I really do. I want to enjoy his face. I want to enjoy the pleasure and adventure. I want to enjoy “my heart being torn apart” looking at the face of the one I gave my life to. I trust his grace to sustain me in the midst of lowest self-esteem and greatest fear of rejection.

I want my heartbeat to rise up day and night thinking his beauty and majesty here and now, as it will turn out one day in heaven. On earth as it will turn out one day in heaven. Amen.